Earlier tonight I was most deliberately not watching the Oscars when I was struck with a strong desire for something jiggly. I'm a bit of a hedonist so I like to indulge my whims when I can and I thought on the feeling for a moment before as quickly as lightning finds a fat man with a key I hit on an idea. "I know!" I thought proudly to myself, "I'll make some Jell-O!" I rummaged through the pantry and sure enough there was a small pink box winking at me from the top shelf. Mmm, strawberry. Feeling a bit Martha, I made it in a clear apple-shaped glass bowl and set it in the icebox to cool. I was quite happy with myself. I even a hummed a bit as I walked away when the thought crossed my mind: I wonder what makes Jell-O wiggle? Obviously something to do with the gelatin... Hmm, gelatin... why do I think I don't like that?
Oh, yeah. Because it's made from grinding up pig or cow's bones, hooves and connective tissues.
I am the WORST vegan in the world. How could I have never connected that? I always think of Jell-O as being so innocent, I totally missed it for being the sinister little psychopathic dessert that it truly is.